Kindness (hessed) for the Special Needs Children

I have to admit for many years in the beginning of Meggie's life I was not sure of God's purpose or plan for myself or my family, but in time, God would reveal just what he would have us do.  Now I know he was preparing me to speak, to blog, to write, and to raise my family to honor him.  Raising a child with special needs is a learning experience to say the least, one that will bring tears and laughter, hopes and fears, inclusion or rejection, hardship or wealth, joy and sorrow,...... and yes, maybe even Kindness and Blessings from some of the most unlikely places.




This past month I had the honor and the privilege to be interviewed by our Pastor, Dr. Gary Hylander, as he spoke on "The Special Needs Child".  This was one message out of a profound series that was presented to our Church family.  This message was taken from 2 Samuel 9:1-13, I highly recommend you read it, you won't be sorry.  I was amazed by the kindness (hesed) of David.  When you are done reading this, you can hear the message by following this link:  www.sheboyganefc.org  then click on the listen online box, scroll down to "The Special Needs Child"    August 28, 11 message and click on the arrow to play.  There is 5 main highlights in this message to listen for:

~ The initiative the caregiver takes
~The assurance the caregiver provides
~The arrangements the caregiver makes
~The dignity the caregiver instills
~The promise/responsibility the caregiver fulfills.  

 I hope this will inform, inspire, encourage, and bless many of you, and may you show some kindness (Hesed)  to someone who may least expect it.  For God told us in his word that what we do for others, (the least of these) is like doing it to him.  Enjoy the message!       

Blessings,

Wendy

                 

Capstone Projects

While having coffee with a good friend today, she was sharing with me how her daughter was working on her capstone project for high school. I thought this would be a great time to share my first experience with capstone projects.

About 5 years ago I was introduced to what capstone projects are by my niece. I thought I would share  what she wrote about and what she had learned in the hours and weeks she spent on studying, observing, actually coming along to our daughter's appointments with her specialists, presenting her case to a mock jury, and having an evening where all the students in her class had all their information pertaining to their projects on display in the high school gym.  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ My family felt honored to have her choose Meggie to take part in her project.

In a world that struggles with where to stand when it comes to life, we need to ere on the side of caution... we are not the creator of life, rather the designated caregivers of  the lives entrusted to us.  We will all be held accountable for life in the end; therefore make it your (greatest) life's goal to uphold life with the utmost respect.               

                                                       ~ Wendy Eckwielen     
                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child, a direct killing of the innocent child, murdered by the mother herself."
--Mother Teresa


2/3/06
Capstone Project
Alison J.

My dear cousin Meggie was born on the sixteenth of November. At birth she had many brain complications. Before she was born the doctors had suggested abortion. They told my aunt and uncle that Meggie would have disabilities, not knowing how may and how severe, and that it may be a good idea just to abort her, however my aunt never considered it for a second. Once she was born I remember visiting Meggie at one time in Children's Hospital in Milwaukee and seeing her laying in her crib with all sorts of tubes and monitors,(she was sick with meningitis).  I had visited many newborn cousins in the hospital but never had they been in such serious condition as Meggie. And even though my aunt and uncle had so much to be sad and anxious about they never complained yet instead praised God for their beautiful new daughter, Meggie, and trusted in Him. My aunt and uncle, have been and continue to be an incredible witness to me. They've shown me that even though Meggie is very different from other children, and even their other children, she is a gift and blessing of God.


In the world of obstetrics life and its value truly in in the eye of the beholder. One family given a beautiful healthy child may deem it a mistake, and terminate it whereas another family, given a child with special needs, anticipates his/her coming and loves them unconditionally. In my personal experience this family was my aunt and uncle. My cousin Meggie was born with many debilitation's, one being Septal Optic Dysplagia Optic Nerve Hypoplasia (SOD ONH), congenital absence of the corpus callosum and hydrocephalus, a build up of fluid in the brain ventricles. Along with these main characteristics Meggie has a pituitary deficiency and epilepsy.


There are many different attempts made to characterize this disease however there are so many manifestations and levels of severity. Two children may both be born with SOD however their disabilities may be very different. It all depends on when the abnormal development occurs. As with many brain disorders, SOD is considered a syndrome and not a discrete diagnosis. No distinct cause of the disease can be identified leaving doctors with possible causes. The most recent evidence suggests that most cases occurred from an intrauterine event and not a genetic defect. These two areas are both being studied, environmental factors and genetic inheritance. At present there is no cure for SOD ONH. The treatment is now all purely symptomatic. Meggie's disabilities can be treated but will never be cured. Had she not been born to loving and caring parents such as my aunt and uncle, Meggie could have became another statistic of abortion.

In the battle between pro-life and pro-choice Christians are waging war everyday yet in our present world Christians seem to be on the losing side. Anyone from teenage prostitutes to wealthy businesswoman is terminating the lives of their "illegitimate" or unwanted children because they simply did not have it in their plan. Mother Teresa quoted, "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you live as you wish". Mother Teresa could not have said it better. Abortion puts the rights and needs of the mothers and fathers significantly above the child's with out even considering it's right to life. As quoted above abortion could be considered one of "The greatest destroyers of peace" in its act of terminating lives of children that are miracles of God because they have special needs. These kids are just as it says, special. They have something to offer us that no other child can but some choose to simply get rid of them. As a Christian entering the medical field I know I will constantly be facing tough questions of ethics and will need to prepare myself for how I will deal with them. By taking on this issue I will better prepare myself to deal with situations, from the point of God's word.

Throughout my research I spent time with many sorts of individuals getting a real world feel for what it is like to have and care for a child with special needs and how they feel about abortion of them. Although some answers I received were shocking, they certainly reflect the overall American lack of value for life. In this project I hope to open the eyes of parents and teenagers alike to see what it is like to have a child with special needs but most importantly I will show how children like my cousin Meggie are a blessing and miracle from God, not despite their disabilities, but because of them.

Approximately 1,370,000 abortions occur annually in the U.S. and 43% of women in the U.S. will have had at least on abortion by the time they are 45 years old (as cited by Melody Drnach, 2006). In the country where freedom reigns and all are given the right to "life liberty and the pursuit of happiness" millions of babies are being murdered every year, every day, every hour. But not only are we aborting healthy babies but it has become socially unacceptable to not abort your child if it has been diagnosed with "special needs". Doctors and researchers alike are pushing more and more for testing of babies before they are born. Recently a report in MSN Health and Fitness there are new tests using amniotic fluid and maternal blood to detect genetic problems without becoming too invasive. "Their ultimate goal was a method of separation out fetal DNA and then pinpointing specific mutations." (Gordon, 2006) Another test is the Alpha Fetal Protein test. This tests the maternal blood at five months of pregnancy and is Solly for the purpose of determining if the baby has downs syndrome or spina bifida. Now that doctors have these two types of tests they are more readily able to abort special needs children more efficiently. The adoption network put it this way, "Where are all the handicapped babies here in the states?" The answer is in Heaven. No, they are not waiting to come to earth as unborn children, but murdered in the womb." In 2000 1.3 million American women obtained abortions, producing a rate of 21.3 abortions per 1,000 women of reproductive age. (Guttmacher Institute, 2000) Teen pregnancy and promiscuity of our country has hit an all time high. Approximately 822,000 pregnancies occurred with women between the ages of 15 and 19 in the year 2000. (Guttmacher Institute) Put this in combination with the drug and alcohol abuse and one finds many "oops" babies that serve as a huge percentage of the babies aborted. However the women at highest risk for resorting to abortion are those of college age. Many college counselors and professors tell the women that pregnancy alters their thinking, reading, and ability to write. Some colleges even offer $300.00 loans for abortions however there is no financial aid offered for young women who give birth. (Foster, 2002)

These statistics reflect the actions of the county as a whole, yet I see this type of attitude with those I come into contact with day to day. A co-worker of mine had one normal baby and then gave birth to a baby with a similar condition to Meggie. The baby lived for about five months and then passed away. After being genetically tested it was found that her and her husband both had the recessive gene for that diseases and had a five percent chance of having a normal baby. She said they took the risk and got pregnant again but if the baby was severely impaired she would, beyond a doubt, have aborted the baby because it did not deserve to live. My question to her was who are you to determine whether or not it deserved to live? She had no response.

To get a real world feel for what it is like to have a child like Meggie, I tagged along with her to a doctor appointment at the geneticist and professor, Dr. B. When asked about how he felt of abortion of children such as Meggie he responded as follows, "With respect to abortion I feel very strongly that physicians should not decide this for patients". Each family has the right to decide for themselves what is right. Each family and each problem in a fetus is different, some are severe problems and some are mild. It is the responsibility of the physician to provide all that is known about the fetal abnormalities to the family and to support that family's decision with respect to pregnancy termination. It is wrong for a doctor, government or you neighbor to decide what is best for you and your family. Although he was not wildly pro-choice he still does not condemn the act of abortion. His quote shows the way expecting mothers could be influenced by their doctors.

So how does all this happen? What is the root of the problem causing so many mothers to deem their children "no good?" Although abortion is a current affair it has been an issue for quite some time. Looking back, Aristotle, in politics, reflected the acceptance of abortion in ancient Greek society: "...When couples have children in excess, let abortion be procured before sense and life have begun." In On the Soul, he distinguished between  a) the nutritive/vegetative soul, characteristic of plants,  b) the sensitive soul, which many animals have, and  c) the intellectual/rational soul, which human beings have (alone among the animals, in his view). He believed that the human embryo/fetus first develops a)the b), the c). Aristotle's views were later cited by many Christian writers, notably Thomas Aquinas (Politics, book V"II, ch.16)

From roughly 1865 to 1960, many American states enacted legal restrictions on abortion. During the 1960s, about a third of the states liberalized their laws and now in 25 states as recently as 1972, abortion was only permitted when necessary to preserve the mother's life. (Rosenfield and Kunins 130ff.) Worldwide, in India abortion is permitted in cases of rape, danger to the mother or in cases of mental deformity. They say they abort them in order to have "compassion for the child's physical or mental suffering," thereby determining the value of that child's life. (Perry 2000, pg 6)

Serrin M Foster, author of "Women Deserve Better than Abortion" says that statistics show primary reasons that women with unintended pregnancies turn to abortion are lacking of financial resources and of emotional support. (Foster, 2006, pg1) According to former Surgeon General, Dr. C. Everett Koop the most common reason for abortion is convenience. Only three to five percent of all abortions performed are for reasons of rape, incest, the possibility of a deformed child, or severe threat to the life of the mother. (Cole, 2004)

A nation wide poll done in Germany gave the following results: We asked for the cause of their unwanted pregnancy some said "not being careful" (28%), oral contraceptives pause (11.1%) unprotected intercourse (10.6%), irregular use of the pill (5.8%), intolerance of the pill (2.9%) and pill failures (2.4%). But when asked what the reasons were for ending the pregnancy they said not wanting any more children (35.3), incomplete professional training (31.9%) or crowded living conditions (11.6%); health and age were cited by only 12.5%. The people polling came to the conclusion that "emphasizing the importance of contraceptives and family planning" should be a plausible solution. (Zentralbl Gynakol, Pub Med, 1997).

Pastor Steve Cole gave three points as to why abortion is biblically wrong. First he says human life is unique to God because we were created in his image. In Genesis 1:26, God distinguished humans from the rest of the animal creation. Only of man did God say, "Let us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness." Second the Bible clearly forbids the shedding of innocent blood. The Bible clearly commands, "You shall not murder" (Exod. 20:13).  Finally prenatal human life is fully human and thus precious to God. As it says in Psalm 139:13-16, "For you created me in my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made: your works are wonderful I know that full well."

So one may ask now, is there really any solution to this issue? Can we really make a worthwhile effort against abortion of special needs children or of any children? Yes we can make an effort. There will never be a complete solution to this issue but there are small individual things we can do to slowly yet surely minimize abortion.

First there is continual research being done on diseases like Meggie's that bring their condition to light. These researchers dedicate their careers to children just like Meggie to make their lives better and to give them a brighter hope. Doctors like Dr. K., Meggie's neurologist, is one of the doctors giving Meggie hope. Not only do the doctors give Meggie hope and a brighter future but they help parents see the awesome value in a life such as Meggie. When these men devote their professional careers and dedicate such care and compassion, their patients as well as all observers, such as myself, and see and appreciate the importance of these children. I tagged along with Wendy and Meggie to this appointment and met Dr. K., He was incredibly kind and caring with Meggie and displayed the exact attitude mentioned above. You could tell he genuinely cared for his patients - a true inspiration for all pursuing medical careers. When asked how he felt about abortion of children such as Meggie he said that Meggie is a beautiful blessing of a daughter and that his life would not have been the same had Wendy and Brad aborted her. Dr. K. never said he was anti-abortion but he showed a very loving and gentle spirit of compassion for his special needs patients.

Second there is always the option of adoption. Christian organizations such as Bethany Christian Services "Manifest the love and compassion of Jesus Christ by protecting and enhancing the lives of children and families through quality social services." (site) When I contacted the supervisor of the Wisconsin branch, Georgia Mixdorf, about adoption of specifically special needs children she replied, "I can tell you that Bethany finds homes for any child with special needs. We have placed babies with spina bifida, hydrocephalus, Downs Syndrome, those exposed prenatally to drugs and /or alcohol, and extremely premature babies... In my 20 years at Bethany, we have never turned any baby away. Some women have come to us requesting adoption for their baby because tests have been wrong, and those babies have been healthy. Some have special needs such as cleft lip... I can confidently say that there are adoptive homes for any baby regardless of the disability. So a woman who does not feel she can care for her expectant child because of the child's special needs has the option of placing her child for adoption instead of having an abortion." It is Christian organizations such as Bethany that are putting out a Christian witness.

Finally, a great solution to the act of abortion of special needs children is to meet these children face to face. Meet them and fall in love with their personalities that are incredible gifts of God. Daniel Allott was a man that had such an encounter. While in college Daniel got a chance to work with a man named Rick. Rick was a severely retarded man who had been deaf, speechless, and confined to a wheelchair since birth. Daniel was able to spend one year with Rick and within this year Daniel said "Rick taught me some important life lessons. He showed me the meaning of genuine, mature, and self-giving love. He taught me what it means to be human." Daniel mentioned that Rick was constantly filled with this warmth and compassion that attracted all those around him, to himself. Daniel made an important observation about the disabled, that "We must celebrate their lives with them, not look upon them with sad eyes, but let them know they are a source of joy to others." Instead of looking upon the disabled with judging and unloving hearts we should try to meet, spend time with, and love the disabled for in time they may "help us discover our common humanity, liberate us from self-centered, disordered notions of love and begin the process of truly becoming human."  (Daniel Allott, Valuing the Vulnerable, 2005)

I am pleased to say my niece went on to college to become a nurse, she is a wonderful compassionate person and any patient would be very fortunate to be in her care.

Birthdays, Parenting and Memories

This is a very last minute post, but I had a few things on my mind, about kids birthdays, parenting, and making memories together. So here it goes... Today I was just thinking of how fast my children are growing and some of the pictures on my blog are not all updated, my oldest so nicely pointed that out to me last time I wrote. So since they have all turned another year older, I thought I would share some of the celebration with you, they are all 10 and above now, double digits, where has the time gone? Though the birthdays have come on gone, I am still celebrating this time we still have them at home. Our minds (my husband and I that is) try to wrap around the thought of a home with just the two of us, (and Meggie of course) and I have to say, that's not always an easy thought. Parenting is so a part of us, it's very difficult imagining it any other way. Not saying that we will not be their parents when they are out on their own, but it will just change the dynamics a bit. From the time our children were born, we knew we would be preparing them every step of the way, through all the stages and ages they pass through, I have to say we enjoyed each stage, and never felt anxious at those time.

Now jumping ahead to the present, it's not an anxiousness I feel, rather the goals we have made as parents in the raising of our children; such as knowing how to care for a household, single, married, children, whatever the case maybe. Being financially responsible, making good sound decisions, being a good employee or employer, being able to pick the right spouse, job, education, church, friends, and on and on. I am reviewing in my mind what is it we need to equip our children with, so when they leave home, they are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared to handle life on their own. We are so blessed as parents to have this opportunity to raise our children in a way that they will be outstanding individuals, who will have a great (eternal)impact on society. There is truly a sense of accomplishment, and joy to see your children putting into practice some of the values, morals, and responsibilities you have worked on repeatedly over the years.

I truly want to be able to look back when my husband and I get older and know that parenting was the most important job we did while our children were growing up. It will be rewarding to both of us and most of all it will be a reflection of our love for our children and for our Heavenly Father. My life has been filled with good examples of parents/grandparents, and what parenting should look like.

Looking back at the wonderful memories I have of my grandparents, the unconditional love they had for us grandchildren, was amazing. I was fortunate enough to have a good relationship with my grandparents, as well as my parents, which just reinforced the morals,values, responsibilities, and spiritually training that equipped me to be the parent I need to be. Notice I did not mention in any way shape or form perfect parenting, it makes me feel uncomfortable when people even mention (or insinuate) me and the word perfect in the same sentence, I am just showing my gratitude for my up bring. I know my husband and I will feel honored if our children feel this same way as they grow up.






Homemade cake and (my aunt's) almond frosting are the greatest!


Now when we are celebrating birthdays, we fully enjoyed each one, appreciating them for the special individuals they are to us; the food was great, we usually let them choose the meal; the cake was yummy! The gifts were fun (and within budget), and the time together was priceless! The smiles on the kids faces and the laughter we shared will leave long lasting memories hopefully for all of us. We took several pictures, and I will share a few, I also attempted to make my first slide show in honor of Meggie's 10th birthday, that was quite fun I must say. As other important birthdays and events arise, I hope to have special plans to make even more special memories for the kids that they can look back on, always remembering what made it so great is we did these things together.







Celebrating my oldest daughter's birthday was so fun, though it really gets us thinking of how fast the time is going. We usually sit around and spend some time reminiscing their childhood days, maybe watch an old video of the kids and we almost always end up laughing. The memories we have made will linger for a long time to come.







By the time my son's birthday rolled around, we had some mild illnesses going on in the family, but enough to postpone the celebrating for his big day. It was a good thing he was not sick and could have some fun things planned with friends and have things going on at school. As you can tell, the younger people in the family are very rapidly gaining (height wise) on the older people. Sorry Meggie your height does not come rapidly for you, but your cuteness more than makes up for your height.






The last thing I am going to end with is some lyrics I wrote for Andrea, as I was reflecting how fast the time goes while we are watching our children grow, and thinking about all the hopes and dreams we have for them. It was a goal of mine to have a song for each of them from me.


Rock-a-Bye My Baby


(chorus) Rock-a-bye my baby as you drift to sleep,
with his angels watching you, we'll have some peace.
Daylights coming night will quickly pass....rock-a-bye my baby to sleep.

(v1) We wish that times like these would last and last,
The kids are growing and time is going fast,
I watch you as you go to run and play, may angels watch you day by day.

(v2) Before I know you're going off to school,
The teacher's smiling and the children are too,
Mothers say good-bye, kids say.....mommy don't cry, rock-a-bye my baby with me.

(chorus)

(v3) The school bell rings, and now the day is done,
You've learned great thing and even had some fun,
Across the stage you'll walk in cap and gown, as angels sing and dance around.

(v4) College comes and goes your working now.
You're volunteering in spare time somehow;
Then the phone rings....Dad,....there's this guy...I want you to meet,
rock-a-bye my baby with me.

(chorus)

(v5) Wedding bells are ringing loud and clear,
I see your veil on, smile, and I shed a tear.
Vows are said, and then you kneel to pray,God bless you on your wedding day.

(v6) Sharing time with you is rare, but, precious now,
Memories fill my mind, of your childhood days I recall,
You're having children of your own right now, and singing...
rock-a-bye my baby with me.

(chorus) Rock-a-bye my baby as you drift to sleep,
with his angels watching you, we'll have some peace.
Daylights coming night will quickly pass....
rock-a-bye my baby to sleep.

Unexpected Compassion

Compassion(kam pash'en)n.]< L com., together + pati, suffer]] deep sympathy; pity <>compassionate adj. -compassionately adv.



In just the last few months Meggie and I have experienced an overflowing amount of compassion from strangers, from other children, and from long time friends, at just the right time, for an achy heart. God knows when we feel broken hearted, desperate, and needy...and he always has just the right cure for any symptom or disease.

After a great summer, we were gearing up for the fall, school staring, doctors appointments, business travel for my husband, meetings, school functions, and Meggie's program and all the busyness in between. Trying desperately to manage family's schedule and hoping for a good healthy year for Meggie, there was a part of me trying to be strong, feeling as tho things are all on my shoulders. Why we let ourselves feel this way when God is always with us, I don't know I can even answer that.



Emma's compassion

The summer brings back memories of visiting with family and friends, one of our relatives came out with their granddaughter, who spent some time at our house, and while she was here, she brought such joy to our home. The contagious laughter, the endless energy, the fun and games that only a child like heart can grasp and appreciate. This was a child who would just make Meggie laugh and smile each time she came to visit, and each ounce of attention given from Emma to Meggie was just a ray of sunshine to her soul. Emma could do little things which in Meggie's world would equate to big things, like hand her a piece of her favorite paper, put her pillow in place for her, watch a show with her, or just take time to talk with her. Whatever was done for Meggie was always done very lovingly by Emma.



Compassion from Stranger's

On another occasion my oldest daughter, a couple of her friend, Meggie and I took a day trip to a mall a couple of hours away. After being in the mall for a time Meggie and I stopped to take a break and sit, when I started to give Meggie some water through her feeding tube, (trying to sit in a quiet place not to bother anyone.) there was a couple who was sitting next to us and took note of Meggie being feed, while tending to their grandchild. Though not many words were exchange, the looks and smiles they gave to Meggie and I were very appreciated, I could tell by their faces, the compassion they were showing, thank you for the support you showed, it means more than words can say.


Coming as stranger's, leaving as friends

The second stop we made that afternoon was back at the food court, as I was walking there was a young lady in a wheelchair looking and pointing at Meggie. After finishing in line I walked up to the young lady (who had downs syndrome and other issues she was dealing with) and her mother, and asked her if she liked all the decorations on Meggie's chair. Meggie's chair is always a good conversation opener, (we always have it decked out with glitzy girl stickers) even though I was certain she had more questions than stickers. The Young lady's mother told me her daughter was enquiring about Meggie due to her wheelchair, and was concerned whether she was ok or not. The young lady asked me repeatedly "Is she ok? Is she going to be alright?" The sympathy in her voice, and the fact that she herself had many issues to deal with was absolutely a striking example of compassion to me. Despite of her mother's reminder to her that she was in a wheelchair too, she seemed blind to her own issues and was taken with compassion for Meggie.

After a nice conversation with the young lady and her mother, I left feeling comforted to meet a mother whom I could truly sympathize with, and a young lady whom I could love and appreciate for who she is. Thank you for your striking example of compassion.



A child shall lead

And what about the little boy in the library, who immediately upon seeing Meggie and I walking up to the door, pushed the handicap button, so the door would open for us, without anyone even asking him to do so. When his mother saw he was playing by the doors, she started to call him and make sure he was not in trouble, that's when I spoke up and told her he was only being a big helper and thanked him kindly for quickly coming to our aid. Not only did he offer help at the door, but without hesitation he began to carry on a conversation to Meggie, and take an interest in her and the neat wheelchair with the wheels that seem to perk up most little boys. Before I knew it he wanted to push Meggie around the library and give her a ride. His mother was a bit hesitant at first, but I reassured her it would be fine and that Meggie would love the time and attention he was so eager to give.


Who was speaking to that young boy (maybe only age 3-4 years) to act with such compassion, children are not to young to be used by God.



Thank you for being a friend......

Then there's Jayne, this is Meggie's little friend, who would bring a smile to her face upon mentioning her name, for days after spending just one afternoon together. One Sunday afternoon spending time with several families from our church at a potluck, Meggie was entertained by a sweet, cheery little girl with long strawberry blonde hair, freckles, and a missing tooth. Jayne would be in and out the house, frequently checking in on Meggie, and soon became her little nurse, with much compassion, straightening her pillow, picking up toys she would drop, wiping drool from her face when needed, and asking if she could pour the milk into her feeding tube. Not only did she care for Meggie, but she took the time to sit with me, having a lengthy conversation, and asking many questions not many children would ask, while all the other children were outside playing. Before I knew, to my amazement, there was Meggie's little nurse Jayne explaining to another child, while she was taking care of Meggie, how her brain did not tell her legs to walk, just as I had explained to her. How could Meggie not love Jayne, especially when Jayne loved Meggie (unconditionally) first.








Then there's our pastor who quietly comes to Meggie on a Sunday morning church service and ever so gentle puts his hand on Meggie's head, showing his compassion, to a child who he calls his friend to others. This child knows him and if she could speak... would call him friend. What a blessing to have that Christ like example.


The greatest example of compassion I can share is Our Lord Jesus Christ, he responds to all our needs and suffering with a heart bursting with deep love, with compassion that moves him to step in to our lives. He was an example to us, that we may show compassion to the needy, and so we may care enough to get involved in the lives of others.


Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. Lamentations 3:22


All the kind words and actions, warm my heart, the prayers and the compassion heal our hearts and give strength for a new day.


I pray your heart will not only receive compassion, but will be bursting with love, and you will desire to give compassion and get involved in others lives, then you will find true joy!







Everyone needs compassion.....

The Blessing of Giving

As the mother of a child with special needs I can sincerely say the impact it has on your life as well as your families' life can be a life changing experience, in a good way. One of the goals I have always had was to maintain a healthy balance between what seemed to be two different worlds with our children at times. When they were younger, it seemed like this would be an easier task, but as they grew, I hoped their relationship would continue to grow.



Loving their sister came natural, they would not have it any other way.


Andrew is not shy when it comes to showing his love for little sister, they truely
share a special bond.


Meggie's siblings never complain about the things she is unable to do,they just make beautiful wishes for her, dreaming like most children love to do.



Meggie's sibling's Andrea and Andrew have gone the extra mile, not only would they meet my family goal, but sometimes even exceed the goals I have set. God has truly blessed us with (three children) two older siblings for Meggie, who love and adore her. Their willingness to take part in events, to speech, to do interviews, or help in other ways that would have their sisters best interest at heart is not even a question in their mind, it's just what they do. Meggie's condition has spurred us on to participate in various events still today.




Some of the things we have done as a family to make a difference especially for children include a radio interview for Children's' Hospital of Wisconsin. I will not forget the excitement the children had as we rode up to the mall in Green Bay where they were holding the radio interviews. Brad and I were interviewed regarding Meggie's condition and our experiences with Children's' Hospital. The kids were able to announce the phone number on the radio where people were able to call and make their pledges for the children with numerous conditions and some very life threatening. What a joy to be able to give back to a place that gives so much for our children!


Andrea getting ready to announce the phone number to call in pledges.


What an honor both Andrea and Andrew felt when they could be part of such a worth while event, knowing how many children would benefit from this.


Dad and Meggie watching the shows going on. Brad and I also felt the honor of being able to share our story and have the opportunity to give back to such an awesome cause,...children.


Even the radio hosts could not contain their excitement! What a great day!




At times the excitement get the best of us, and we just have to take that little siesta, after a hard days work.



Andrea, our oldest child chose to write and paper and do a speech on what it means to have a special needs sister. Though she did not go on to state with her speech, we were undoubtedly pleased with her choice of topics and her ability to get through a tough and wordy speech. In my heart and mind she was a winner!



Papers, speeches, writing songs, fundraisers, and radio interviews, prayers are all things my children have been involved in, and when they do, you can see the heart they have for their sister and these children. It has certainly been a growing experience for the whole family, confirming to us it's not what you get in life, it's about what you give.



Andrea speaking on what it is like to have a sister with special needs.


Meggie loves Andrea's music so do we!



God gave you unique spiritual GIFTS, A unique heart, unique abilities, a unique personality and a lifetime of unique experiences so you would make your own unique difference in the world. ~ The Purpose Driven Life

God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God's many kinds of blessings.
~ I Peter 4:10 TLB (The Purpose Driven Life)




The most recent radio interview we were asked to do was also a very heart touching experience. I received a phone call from Sue, one of the coordinators of Possibility Playground in Port Washington, she called to see if our family would speak about what it would mean to have an all inclusive (accessible) playground for Meggie and our children. What a joy to be able to share about how children with all abilities could benefit from this. Having safe swings I could get Meggie in and out of, and having such an inspiring place for my children to be able to share with their sister seemed like a dream worth the time. The interviews were touching and my children spoke like this is something they do all the time, thanks to the radio announcer Matthew Blades, and his willingness to use his talents to help make this playground a reality. You can read more about the playground at http://www.possibilityplayground.org/ and click on Possibility Playground, our story would be Meggie's story. Spring and summer are the start of more trips to the playground, maybe we'll see you there!




Look Meggie, a xylophone!


Great therapy for Meggie.



Ready


Set


Swing Meggie!


My older children were delighted to see Meggie enjoy the swing and the park!!!



Reflecting back, I did not anticipate my children would be so connected to the cause. They have put both feet forward when it comes to stepping up and making things happen for their sister and other children with special needs. Meggie's condition is one source in which inspires us to participate in these events, tho I have to give the honor and glory where it belongs, and that is to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It would be a dishonor for me to take credit that is not mine.





I do have to admit I questioned at times how I managed to be blessed with these kids who have such a deep love for their little sister. The way they relate to her at times (or the value she holds in their belief system) may be hard to comprehend for the majority of people. This love is beyond what words can express from two awe-struck parents, and is certainly a gift from above.


The concerns I've always had from the past of trying to make our worlds blend together is smoothed over at times like water rolling over the sand on the shore. Our lives have blended and bonded not only by my own efforts, but by the grace of God. He has covered us with his loving compassion, which has been evident to us time after time.


I hope this leaves you feeling as blessed as I have !